


And they were cellmates

by SleepyKermit



Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga)
Genre: M/M, Manga Spoilers, RayGil is cannon, Servamp on crack, Tsubaki is mentioned, bad and funny writing, beautiful relationship between RayGil, fic begins from before chapter 50, i tried to be serious but gave up, memes and vines, nothing makes sense, please save Tsurugi, touma must return to hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-17
Updated: 2019-02-17
Packaged: 2019-10-30 01:53:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17819603
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SleepyKermit/pseuds/SleepyKermit
Summary: Ray and Gil try to rescue the Servamp of Wrath. Everything has gone to chaos but everyone is still memeing. A certain villian must be STOPPED this instance. Everyone is dying inside. Nothing makes sense anymore.





	1. Ray and Gil plan to escape

**Author's Note:**

> They literally give me life, and I'm disappointed that there's not a lot of fics about them on a03. So here I am with a crack fic. This is based on chapter 80 and on of the Servamp manga, so read that first to get the references in this fic. ;) 
> 
> Buckle up kids.

Usually, the pair of subclasses would have lots of fun exerting their chaotic energy while watching the others burn. They are lawful chaotic, as you can see. 

Usually, their opponents will be sent flying to Russia. 

But this is not the usual. This is operation plan B. Bring wrath back to society. Or, in other words, save the Servamp of Wrath. 

Ray and Gil had literally waltzed right into some C3 losers patroling an alley.

"How dAREEE you interrupt our waltzing?! YOU'RE ALL GONNA PAY FOR THISSS!" Gil shrieked at them.

He turns to Ray and said in the softest voice ever. 

"Right, Ray?"

"That's right, Gil," his partner replied just as softly. 

Gil immediately declared war between themselves and those unlucky guys who happened to be there.

"THIS IS WAR!!!" he screamed. 

"Y-y-you're coming with us to hell!" the C3 guys screamed at Ray and Gil. But they forgot to hide their fear. Too late. 

"And if we win, we're going to run for president in Japan. When we do, all of your waifus might become illegal!" Gil screamed right back.

"Right, Ray?" Gil asks Ray again.

"That's right Gil, no more lewding lolis for them," Ray agreed.

Gil's always confirming anything he says with his life partner, Ray who agrees with everything Gil said. That's so beautiful and sweet. The C3 guys are gonna get cavities. But they'll have to go to the dentist, their worst nightmare. 

The C3 guys were like "nope", and started dueling with Ray and Gil. Somehow, Gil fought like he had ligma. He splashes his water imported from Venice around like a little kid. Ray fought like he didn't know whether to hit or miss. But I guess he always miss, huh?

They tried, but not hard enough, to not murder anyone. Eventually, no one died and RayGil were captured. 

"OOF," RayGil said as the C3 guys knocked them out and dragged them to C3's basement, where they kept their prisoners alive for the time being, thank Tanaka Strike. Torturing any prisoner is strictly prohibited, hopefully. 

RayGil had woken up from being dragged on the floor too much. The first thing they did was look for each other.

"Gil?!?!"

"Ray?!?!"

"GIL! ABAGAHHGGGAAAA :'D"

"RAY! AAGAHUAUHHH I FINALLY FOUND YOU AGAIN! :'D" 

Such romantic. Much beautiful. 

But they don't have to worry about being separated. The C3 guys looked at Ray. Then they looked at Gil. Then they looked at Ray looking at Gil. Then they looked at G- 

They decided, "these two come as a pair. Let's ship them like FedEx into the same cell."

And that's how Ray and Gil became cellmates.

"Thank Tanaka strike." They said.

"The world might end if we're separated, according to the shippers."

RayGil were then given prison clothes to change into in their cell. Their own clothes were snatched away like wigs and discarded somewhere.

After some tHiNGS happened, RayGil carried on with their plan. They're gonna wreck this hellhole and save their mom- I mean the Servamp of Wrath. Because they won't let C3 corrupt the beautiful queen. 

And so, they tried to find out the quickest and easiest way to break out themselves first.

"YEET." Gil screamed as he yeeted his water at the cell door. Maybe some of the water are his. His sweat, his tears, his blood-

But the water went "bOING" on the door. Some fluid were reflected right back at RayGil, making them wet. 

Some of the other fluid went past the cell bars and into another subclass' cell. The subclass happened to be Shamrock, Tsubaki's butler.

He is not amused. 

"Who the HEKSFABUAGAF I'M MOIST!" Shamrock screamed. He looked for the source of the water and saw - his otp right before his eyes. Suddenly his wetness dosen't matter anymore. 

"I am truly blessed," he said.

RayGil sighed in defeat. The cells probably has anti-vampire powers. Time for plan H.

"Hhhhhhhh-" said Gil, because he's wet and he doesn't have a spare shirt. 

"We have to be nakey or we'll catch a cold," said Ray. 

"Your're right mom," said Gil.

After RayGil is dry from all the chaotic energy they're radiating, it's time for plan A.

"We gotta hand over the burden of breaking out to someone else, " Ray said.

"BECAUSE IF WE SUFFER, EVERYONE ELSE SHOULD ALSO SUFFER?!"

"NO-"

And their lucky victim is... the subclass in the cell opposite them: Shamrock! Who looks like he wants to kermit.

Actually he's the chosen one because he just happened to be the nearest guy to them. At least he gets to see his otp up close, and talk to them personally. 

Ray made sure the coast is clear before Gil calls out to him.

"Ayyyyyyy fam," Gil said. "Yeah boi. Can you hear my heartbeat?"

"Oh no, this guy has been influenced by an element of a culture or system of behaviour passed from one individual to another by imitation or other non-genetic means," Shamrock thought. 

"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?! TAKE MY CHILDREN, TAKE MY LIFE, BUT DON'T TAKE MY WAIFU!!!" Shamrock screamed out in fear. 

"Bruuhhh chill we just wanna crack open a cold one with you," Gil said. 

"Oh. Oh, ok, thank Tsubaki." Shamrock let out a great sigh of relief. 

"The cold one I was talking about is this cell we're in."

"WAT."

"And we want you to help us get the keys to unlock your own cell first, then ours, so that we can fiiinally be FREE! Like Haru. Right, Ray?" 

"That's right, Gil. But I don't wanna be free. I wanna be expensive."


	2. They are FREE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> RayGil convinced Shamrock to team up with them. They don't regret anything.

Shamrock sweated. He sweated so much he looked as if he's just got out of the pool.

"This is a bad idea. This has to be a trap," he thought. He has seen enough traps to know that they're g- I mean, they might not end well.

But deep inside his tiny little heart, he knew he HAS to free his ship so that they could sail the seven seas, fly to the moon and back. 

" OWOKAY then." Shamrock agreed. 

"YEEAAAHHHH! LET'S START PLAN OWO!" Gil shrieked. 

While they waited for a guard to pass by Shamrock, Ray and Gil started doing the tango to pass the time. It got sO INTENSE that their whole cell went on fire.

Gil had to put it out with his fluids. Then they switched to waltzing. Then ballroom dancing.

Shamrock was so mesmerized by their dancing that he almost forgot about his role.

Finally, a guard showed up and Shamrock yeeted him with his powers through the bars of the cell. The poor guard was dead.

That is so sad, if Shamrock had Alexa with him, he would have asked her to play "every time we touch", because that's what RayGil are doing now. 

Shamrock used his long and slender fingers that went "SssSSLithER" as they reached for the guard's keys. He's free! And so will his otp be.

"YEAH BOI!" Gil screamed at the top of his lungs, which somehow triggered the alarm. 

"HIDE YO KIDS! HIDE YO WIFE! MULTIPLE SUBCLASSES HAVE ESCAPED FROM THEIR CELLS!" The alarm screamed. 

"Well, at least I got to do my favourite thing while dying." Shamrock said happily.

"Which is?"

"Dying." 

"Please, we ain't gonna die if we just burn the place down." Gil reassured.

"Wow you're a genius my good sir. Now if you'll excuse me, I have some rEVeNgE to take care of first."

Shamrock disappeared back into the shadows while smiling like Jeff the killer.

Gil laughed nervously, "We saw nothing. Leggo Ray." 

RayGil heelied away as fast as they could. Away from the fact that nothing makes sense anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm dead inside. My chapters will gradually get shorter and shorter. Thanks for reading.

**Author's Note:**

> They, together as one  
> Makes my heart scream and soar.  
> They are what make me feel alive.  
> I love.  
> I breathe.  
> I live for you, RayGil.


End file.
